Sunday, November 13, 2011

At its worst

Today has not been a fun day.  I would not have written a blog except that I thought it might help someone else.  My depression and anxiety took over early this morning and didn't want to loosen their hold on me.  Nothing satisfied me.  Nothing helped.  I felt sad, hopeless, and distressed.  I couldn't even go to church.  I just wanted to go to sleep and sleep all day.  I started with a migraine.  However sleep eluded me.  I tried to do my bible study, yet I couldn't focus on any one word, much less sentence.

Finally I decided to take a shower and get dressed up and see if I would feel better.  When I was finished, my husband came and asked me to help him with a chore.  Of course it was the last thing I wanted to do (running the wood splitter).  However I said yes.  I can only say that it took my mind of myself (which is very important when depressed) and he said I really helped him.  It also plum tuckered me out.  I came home, took another shower and slept for 2 hours.  Since then I have been cooking dinner and cleaning the kitchen.

I can honestly say that I am ready for sleep to come tonight.  Days aren't always this bad and I am ready for this one to be over.  I am mentally and physically tired. 

So to those of you out there who have these times/days, know that you aren't alone.  I still know I have won the victory.  I know the end of the story.  Jesus comes back for all those who believe in Him.  So I win. I may have lost some battleground today, but victory in the end is mine.  And yours too.

In Christ,

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