Today's journey: I completely cleaned and rearranged my daughters' room. It was absolutely a mess. I hate cleaning and a messy house shuts me down like nothing else can. I called a good friend by and she came to help. In about 4 hours we had it done. Then my dad took us out to lunch. Now all the girls have to do is put there stuff back in place. When they got home from school, I showed them their surprise. They were thrilled and love it!
Shouldn't I feel great? Shouldn't I feel accomplished? Shouldn't I feel proud of myself? I did the task. I am glad I did it. But I didn't "feel" great, accomplished or proud. I just felt tired. That's how depression works. I should have felt very accomplished, especially because I had only planned to clean off everything. Then I was going to rearrange the room tomorrow. I would have stopped about 30 minutes to an hour into the project if my friend hadn't been here. That's another way depression works. Things/projects/situations tend to shut you down. It is very easy for me to shut down.
The positivie point for today is this: I did the job and finished it. It is ok that I had a friend to help and support me. We need the support and help of our friends. My girls are very pleased and I did that for them. Feelings are overrated. We have to know and hold the truth of God's word and love in our hearts and our minds. He loves me; He's proud of what I did. I am His beloved daughter. Thank you God for this. And whether I feel it or not, I know You love me.
Til next time,