Saturday, November 26, 2011


I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving.  It is my favorite time of the year.  Now we're headed into the season of our Savior's birth.  Truly amazing things happen at Christmas.

Through all the holiday traditions and excitment, I still feel empty.  Empty of energy, empty of purpose, empty of everything except loneliness and time.  I've physically accomplished several things over the past 3 days; made a big dinner, helped make and deliver a birthday surprise present, gotten our Christmas pictures, helped put up one small Christmas tree for my girls, and wrapped all the Christmas presents.  Today I am setting up at a Christmas Open House.  I have no energy to get dressed and get the girls ready to go.  I need to sell some items to finish my Christmas shopping.  But it takes energy and all I feel is empty.

I've decided that when people ask me how I'm doing, instead of saying, "I'm suffering through clinical depression", I'll say, "I'm fighting through clinical depression".  That is true, it is a fight to get my life back to normal, whatever normal is.

Positive thought: yesterday while watching a sermon preached by Jentzen Franklin, I heard a wonderful analogy.  Jentzen held up a glow stick (like kids play with).  It doesn't glow with light until you bend and break it.  That is how we best show God's light and shine with it; when we have been bent and broken.  Funny thing, I found a broken glow stick in my driveway just after hearing the sermon.  Thought I may keep it as a reminder that all this depression I am fighting through will let God's light shine through me.

Have a blessed day.

Fighting through depression, M.

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